Safety Officer Jac Viljoen. Reporting!

Hi there to all my fans. (I know it's just the two of us mom!)

In my search of finding my niche, I have tried my hand at various trades and professions. From construction to painting, from making plastic teeth to working in the UK's Big Brother house.

I search high and low for that thing. That thing I refer to as my niche. Will I ever find it?

Recently I started working as a safety officer. In countries like South Africa and Pappa New Guinea, people would probably not even know what this job is all about. I mean in SA a piece of red-and-white banner tape, one end tied to a tree, the other tied to a empty Zamalek (that's a beer bottle for all my international readers) would be sufficient warning for a 20 meter drop into a pit of hungry sharks. In the UK things work differently...

First you'll see some people in bright yellow or orange (called high-viz) warning you of more people on your chosen route. The "more" people would then use their arms to cordon of a area where "more-more" people are busy fixing some sort of highly visible and impenetrable barrier to keep you away from a puddle of water which leaked out of some pipe or something. After the barrier has been set up, someone would warn the public that the safety team is now ready to leave and could even block them of while the "more" and "more-more" people are leaving. Even though you'd need a Olifant tank to penetrate the barrier at least one person would remain at all times to monitor the situation as well as answer any further questions from public.

I believe you could drink a litre of tequila, be blindfolded and be sent into Oxford street during rush hour, and you'd still survive. There are so many safety precautions in England that each precaution has his own precautions!

This is where my latest job comes in. I'm a safety officer at mayor events and exhibitions across Britain. I have to think for all the idiots out there.

"Don't run with scissors!"
"Don't stand on that three-legged chair!"
"Don't park in front of the fire exit!"

I just wander around these events, warning and reporting. If I see a trip hazard, and this could be anything that I feel is unsafe, I report it and a whole network of people rush to my location. They get some of the more and more-more people in, build the barriers, get the contractors in, fix the hazard (sometimes they even bring in a crane), get the all clear from me, remove the barriers, all the people and leave the site. This process could take from 15 minutes to 24 hours to complete.

It gives one some sort of a power trip to know that all these people, lets say 3 to 15 people have to react to one's insecurities. Obviously, if you overdo it, they become less likely to respond. Although as long as you're employed, by law they have to respond...as long as you are employed..

Anyway. I must admit that I'm enjoying this job because of the many people I meet. At the previous event there were 150 people from all nationalities doing this job. It's sounds like a lot but considering we had 162 000 visitors at a flower show (flower shows = old people) we had our hands full.

I also realised that I really love to help people. Just giving some information and having a quick chat with some members of public gives me a rush..

I feel I'm one step closer to finding me niche.